The Dynamic Trio
by dem bones
Summary: A series of 50 one-shot centered around Harry/Ginny/Snape. Contains slash, het, femslash, crossdressing, genderbending. Please don't spear me...I want to live. Updated sporadically.


Title: The Dynamic Trio

Author: dem bones

Genres: Romance

Summary: A series of 50 one-shots of Harry/Ginny/Snape. Featuring slash, het and femmeslash, genderbending, crossdressing in various forms.

Warnings: As stated above.

A/N: Written for OT3 boot camp challenge by Lady Phoenix Fire Rose.

Chapter 1: Fire

Harry could say he was grateful, after all he had been married to his wonderful wife for three years and had yet to get a divorce. That was impressive with the amount of divorce rates exceeding over the years.

Yet Harry found himself worrying over whether or not it would last. The fire that had once brewed between them seemed to sizzle. Sure they had sex every now and then but it was average at best.

Exceedingly worried, Harry dropped by Ron and Hermione's house. It was amazing how he had grown closer to Ron over the years. He had thought the two would have grown distant as Hermione seemed like an obstacle to their friendly relationship.

"Hey Ron, can we talk?" Harry asked before glancing at Hermione.

Ron caught the vibes that Harry was radiating.

"Hermione, can you fix us something to snack on?"

"Who was your servant yesterday?" She scolded.

"I'm talking with Harry...discussing male things like sports, brooms and sex."

Hermione flushed.

"You watch your mouth, Ron." She huffed before disappearing into the kitchen.

Ron turned briefly to see if she had gone from the room before turning his eyes to Harry.

"What's the matter, Harry?"

His expression must have told Ron alot more than he was letting on.

"It's Ginny." Harry said. "She must have sensed it too. I mean we do the same thing every bloody night. She says she's happy but our sex life isn't as exciting as it was at first."

"So you're basically asking me how to help your sex life?" Ron inquired incredulously.

"I knew it was a bad idea."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?" Ron asked feeling very offended.

Harry shrugged.

"I'll have you know, I know more about the illicit act than you do. I used to work at a nightclub in Spain before I met Hermione."

Harry gazed at him in interest.

"Oh now that I tell you about my experience you want in on what I have to say. I should leave you to bask in your cynical space." Ron scoffed.

Harry looked at him certain to make his lips pout in a frown and look up at him pleadingly.

"Don't give me the puppy dog face. It may not work on your wife but it doesn't mean you can try it on me." Ron huffed. "I think you should try and pick up a guy at a gay bar."

Harry looked at him with disgust.

"Is that fake disgust? Since when have you become strictly heterosexual, I mean sure you've fancied three girls over a period of 21 years and showed no interest in the same gender but that doesn't mean you wouldn't enjoy it." Ron encouraged.

"You really think so?"

"The sex between two blokes is a unique experience."

"What about Ginny then?"

"What about her?"

"If you think I'm going to cheat on my wife with some bloke..."

Ron smiled at this. "I wasn't implying that in any sort. Why don't you share him?"

"What?!"

"A threesome. Haven't you heard of that kind of thing?"

Harry flushed.

"The mechanics of such a thing..." Harry said pondering how it would work.

Ron seemed to be contemplating something.

"It would have to be a guy that both of you like."

GWHPSS

That evening Harry dropped by his cottage in Godric's Hallow. In the distance, Harry seen Ginny walking towards him in the distance. For most of the afternoon she had been at Quidditch practice.

Harry ran towards her.

"Hey Ginny, how was Quidditch practice?" He asked helping her with her quidditch gear.

"Great I suppose. You didn't give Ron a bad time did you?"

Harry flushed.

"HARRY!"

"How did you know?"

"We talk, we have sex, you don't think with both those things we are getting to learn more about each other?"

"The way you say it is so vulgar." Harry said with distaste.

"How old are you?"

Harry took out his wand and cast alohomora on the door.

It clicked open and the two went inside.

"Ginny, I've talked with Ron and I think we should see someone else?"

"W-What?" Ginny stammered laughing in sheer shock. "What are you talking about? I don't love anyone else."

"Don't you feel our sex life is a little average?"

"What's wrong with that?" Ginny retorted. "And what are you doing talking with my brother about our sex life?"

"Did you know he used to work in a nightclub in Spain?"

Ginny looked shocked.

"He didn't tell me about that."

"Apparently working in a nightclub in Spain means he had loads of experience with s-s."

"It's sex, Harry."

"Are you seriously proposing that we see other guys?"

"No." Harry said. "Ron wants us as a couple to choose one guy."

"You mean you, me and another bloke." Ginny choked on her words.

"Yeah, he says it must be a guy we both like."

"Harry, the odds that we'll find a guy like that are about the same as Snape coming out of the grave or fabricating a lie to make the entire wizarding world believe he's dead."

"You'll try it won't you?"

"You're talking to the girl who makes a living of pranking her brothers, who loves the twisted sisters, who has a fetish for moustaches and wanted to dye her hair pink and spike it." Ginny said. "Who knows it could be fun."

GWHPSS

On Saturday, Harry and Ginny headed to a nightclub in magical London.

"This is dangerous."

"It's completely safe." Ginny assured. "The likelihood of meeting a death eater is zero to nilch, no death eater in their right mind would visit a nightclub, don't you know they're all prudes."

"I wasn't talking about death eaters but that's nice information to know." Harry said. "I was referring to your taste in our wardrobes."

Ginny was dressed in black slacks and boots and a long gray fur coat wearing a tall white hat and Harry followed behind her wearing a brown coat, a shirt with coloured spots and trousers with an exotic design.

"We look ridiculous."

His wife had made certain that he had combed his messy hair into something more sexy.

"Hey if I want to have some fun in this we have to dress the part."

Harry went into the nightclub, Ginny followed him from behind and they both sat in the front.

Much to Ginny's horror, a girl with long curly auburn hair walked onto the stage with a black leather zip up top and a black skirt that stopped at her thighs.

Ginny turned and saw Harry wasn't even paying attention to her.

"What's your problem?"

"As you can clearly see there is a stripper right in front of us."

"Why aren't you watching her?"

"Should I be? You seem to harbour the impression that just because she's stripping that all the male audience is drooling over her." Harry replied. "Besides at most she's pretty average looking."

Ginny laughed.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked feeling a bit miffed.

"Average looking, Harry? You have some pretty high standards."

Ginny herself thought the woman was quite beautiful. 'She isn't average looking at all." She thought.

After the girl had finished with her display, something caught Harry's eye on the corner of the stage.

"Is that a guy?"

"Yep, looks like he's up next." Ginny replied looking very smug.

Harry was looking pale in the face.

She laughed.

"If it's too much for you we can go home."

"I'll wait."

"Should we get a couple of drinks?"

"Yeah, I can't stand the display with out a bit of alcohol."

Ginny chuckled.

The two sat at the two of many empty stools at the bar.

"What would you like?" The bartender asked.

"Two snakebites." Harry said going for a fairly alcoholic drink.

Ginny herself ordered a glass of water.

The bartender quickly handed over their drinks.

As Harry tended to his drink he gazed at the guy on the stage in both horror and fascination.

Ginny turned and saw a man on the left side of her noted by the large discoloured hands and assumed a man had walked inbetween them to order a drink.

The gesture itself was both exceedingly confident and arrogant.

She looked up to see who was the face of the rude man and nearly choked at the sight of a familiar looking man.

Something about his face was very familiar, his hair looked a little too short and the goatee looked misplaced.

Ginny rummaged through her thoughts. 'If his hair was longer and his goatee were gone.'

'Wait, that gaze with those dark eyes...they're menacing and almost consuming.'

"I'd like to order a firewhiskey if you please." The man said, his voice laced in velvet undertones.

She turned to gaze at the man once more.

No doubt the man was Severus Snape.

'How? He's dead.' She thought.

The bartender brought Snape his drinks before he turned on his heels leaving the two.

Ginny turned and saw Snape was still lingering around nearby but otherwise it seemed his focus was solely on drink in his hand.

Inconspicuously quick, Ginny tapped Harry on the shoulder.

"What is it, Ginny?" Harry murmured, the music that had been playing was giving him quite a headache.

"Did you see that?"

"What?"

"Snape, he was standing between us just a second ago."

"That's impossible. He's dead."

"Why don't you turn around and then call me liar."

Harry slowly turned his head and looked among the men to catch a familiar looking face.

The man with short slick black hair and a goatee had a sharp look in his eyes. Eyes looked at him indifferently unconcerned at his gaze.

Harry turned back to Ginny missing the man looking at his direction once more looking startled and very surprised.

"So?" Ginny inquired.

"He's just another average guy stopping at a nightclub to look at the exotic sights."

"I beg to differ." A deep voice cut in from behind him.

Harry turned and cried out startled at the older man's presence.

"So it is you." Harry said looking him up and down.

"So there is a brain in that tiny skull of yours." Snape said. "I wouldn't be talking about my tastes when you are clearly gazing at the male stripper putting on a show."

"Drunk." Harry retorted.

"How do you know it's a male stripper?" Ginny asked curiously.

Snape took a step back startled as Ginny turned to look at him, her red hair peeking out of her white hat. He had thought Harry had been talking with another guy.

Snape flushed.

"Actually Ginny's the one who guessed it and that has nothing to do with the deduction of my brain cells. That's there whether or not I'm at a night club." Harry replied sheepishly.

"What are you two doing in a night club anyhow?"

Harry blushed, his cheeks flushed a deep red.

"We're trying to get ourselves a guy." Ginny said. "Harry thinks it's a good idea to have a little fire in our sex life."

"Where are you living now?" Harry asked.

"I don't think it's any concern-"

"Probably homeless, you did allow the Ministry to sell his house didn't you not?"

Snape's face turned green.

Harry was suddenly filled with a stroke of compassion.

"Then why don't you stay at our house."

"I thought we were here to get a man?"

"We were until I got this excrutiating headache. Snape will have to do."

Snape turned red in irritation.

"What are you talking about?"

Ginny smirked at him with an evil grin.

Snape blushed.

All three headed back to the cottage in Godric's Hallow. Harry took a nap on the sofa in the living room while Snape used the bathroom.

Harry assumed he was in there freshening up so to speak and rested his head on the sofa hoping the dizziness in his head would subside.

Two hours later, Snape stepped out from the bathroom.

"You shaved your goatee?" Ginny inquired pensively. "I liked your goatee it brought out your eyes."

Snape scowled at her.

"So where is Snape going to sleep, Harry?"

Snape gazed at Harry who seemed to be half-asleep and half-awake lounging on the sofa.

"C-Can't you make the arrangements? You know I'm a sleepy drunk." Harry stammered.

Ginny crept towards Snape.

"Potter, this is not funny. Don't you dare hand me over to the reigns of your wife." Snape said backing away from her and turning on his heel he headed towards the nearest room and locked the door behind him.

"Drat, he got away."

GWHPSS

The next morning, Harry awoke with a massive hangover and made his way to the bathroom. He felt exceedingly nauseous. Why did he drink so much?

Oh, that's right because he couldn't stand to look at a male stripper without alcohol.

'Stupid Ron and his stupid ideas.'

Harry quickly ran to the bathroom and proceeded to vomit the contents from his stomach into the toilet.

"Ugh."

On the side of him he heard a clank as if a bottle had been placed on the sink next to him.

Harry turned and saw it was labeled hangover potion.

"Thanks." Harry said taking the bottle and removing the stopper immediately downed it's contents.

"I'm amazed you've managed to get ahold of so many potions."

"Got to be prepared for anything."

"How unlike you."

"It feels like I swallowed something revolting."

"Probably did."

Harry took a toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it and began brushing his teeth. After brushing for a while he spit out the contents from his mouth. He turned startled that Snape was still standing there, his hair it seemed how grown to shoulder length over night. Harry fancied Snape liked it that way.

"What are you still doing in here?"

"Is it alright if I fix my own breakfast." Snape growled, clearly a lot of pride had been sacrificed for him to ask it in such a gruff way.

"Of course. As they say 'mi Casa es su casa'." Harry said brushing his teeth once more.

Snape left at that point to fix himself some breakfast.

After spending some time in the kitchen, Snape had managed to make some eggs and bacon for himself.

"What's that?" Harry asked peeking over Snape's shoulder. He could feel the boy's chin resting there like it was the most natural thing.

Snape shrugged him off.

Harry walked around to get a closer look as to what Snape was cooking when something caught the corner of his eye.

Snape was looking rather crimson in the face as if he were flustered about something. The expression looked highly amusing on his face.

"Why Snape, are you flustered?"

The older man paid him no mind as he continued to focus on fixing his meal.

Harry chuckled, leaving the kitchen and heading for the guest bedroom.

Ginny was sprawled across the bed looking like she were lounging on a cloud in the sky.

He shook her awake.

"Ginny, I'm heading to the library. I'll see you when I get back."

"Alright."

GWHPSS

After buying several books, Harry headed to the library to read the books he had bought.

Clearly what he had bought was more instructional than anything Ron could give him.

Every now and then as he read he imagined how such bedtime would be with Snape around.

'He'd steal all the covers.' Harry thought fuming. 'He's spiteful enough just to do that.'

He hated to admit it, but the idea was sounding more charming the more he thought about it.

Harry collected his things and left the library.

When he arrived in the cottage, Ginny was standing by the bathroom door.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"Snape's in there and he won't come out."

Harry sighed and motioned for Ginny to leave them for the time being.

"Snape, come on. I need to use the bathroom."

"You didn't even eat breakfast." Snape retorted.

"I had a donut and some coffee before I headed to the library."

Snape snorted.

"Come on, I really need to go pee."

"How do I know you're not just Ms Weasley trying to mimic his voice?"

Harry sighed.

"You died by a snake bite to your jugular."

Suddenly the door opened and Snape pulled him in the bathroom with him.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Shut up, you dolt."

"Snape?"

"Please inform me how you managed to snag your barmy wife?"

"School, it's kind of an inevitability when Hogwarts is the only magical school in the UK."

"Tell your wife to stay away from me." Snape scowled.

"Why?"

Snape blushed.

"If you make faces like that, anyone would enjoy teasing you just to see you react."

"If she's only joking please tell her to refrain."

"You'll have to tell her yourself."

"Why?"

"Because you're too tempting at the moment." Harry said holding Snape's chin turning him to face him.

Harry's face drew closer and the space between them began to decrease and suddenly he was kissing Snape roughly shoving him against the wall his right thigh sliding between the older man's hips.

"Harry?"

Harry's lips drew apart from Snape as he turned to face Ginny.

"What is it?" Harry asked flustered and had the nerve to look a bit guilty.

"Nothing." Ginny replied before lunging to kiss Harry as well.

"It's wonderful too bad I can't fathom how a real kiss with him would feel."

Snape flushed even redder.

"Why don't you try it?" Harry asked and stood aside as Ginny lunged to plant another kiss on Snape's lips.

The two broke apart and Snape turned to glance at Harry. There was a bulge apparent between his thighs.

'He actually-.' Snape thought and thus that was how the relationship between Ginny, Harry and Snape had been fabricated.

GWHPSS

Two weeks later, Harry had dropped by Ron's house.

"So how did it go?" Ron asked.

"I'm never taking your advice ever again."

"Why not?"

"I nearly vomited from looking at all the instructional books on the mechanics of 'man on man' action as you call it because you didn't bother to tell me how it works and sorry to say but those pictures are just nasty."

"So who did you manage to snag?"

"Severus Snape."

Ron choked.

"You're kidding."

"I found he looks quite cute when he's flustered."

"He's dead."

"Apparently not any more."

Ron chuckled opting not to say anything more.


End file.
